something about you
from all the people I’ve liked, I liked you better
This is not a love letter, it shall not be. But if it is, would you care to read it?
Well then, here goes nothing.
Please believe me when I say I liked you better than every other person I liked, and i cannot find the reason why.
All I know is that even if years have passed since we last saw each other, I still think about you. There is something in you that got my attention, where you unknowingly caught it and there it stayed. And it simply never left you.
This is about you.
We were merely students sitting next to each other in class; one was listening, the other was daydreaming... I was the former of course. You were always at the back of the room laughing loudly with your friends playing mobile games during break, while I was at the front, also with my friends, talking about an essay assignment. At that moment, I can visibly see and feel our differences and yet, I still looked at you and I still liked you better.
We were always assigned to sit next to each other because of our advisor’s reason that I can somehow help you, tutor you. I know you always had a hard time in fully understanding our lessons since you always asked me things instead of who’s teaching the subject. I did my best to simplify and teach you all that you ask of me and by some miracle, you did understand them. Your friend once told me that you were thankful to me 'cause your scores and grades went up and were better than before, that you built up the courage to ask me things because you’re too shy and thought little of yourself compared to me. And because of that silly thought, you never truly believed that I liked you better.
I am that type of person who confesses and doesn’t expect any reciprocation, it is better to say it aloud for you to know that someone adores you. So I told you I liked you during our retreat, you laughed it off and I laughed with you. You probably thought it was a joke, I just let it be so you wouldn’t be uncomfortable around me and our friends, as they do know I genuinely liked you better.
We parted ways after 10th grade, we did not see each other ever again after that unfortunate year of 2020. Although we did have an online conversation around a year later, I messaged you out of the blue maybe because I remembered you, because I missed you.
You told me you were doing well in your university and I was doing fine in mine. We take the same route of commute to our universities, mine was just longer and yours was shorter. It was nonetheless the same, but still nonetheless different.
What are the odds that we could be on the same train at the same time and same day and still not bump into each other.
I think I just truly wanted to see you someday, I think I still liked you better.
Because when I don’t know what to think about, I think about you.
I still like you better.
